This is a very common problem for many of us. Getting dumped hurts a lot. But one wants to go back to good life as early as possible, if for nothing than to forget the earlier pain. But since the pain remains and the thought of being hit again is overwhelming, it becomes difficult to decide.

When should one go back to dating scene after getting dumped? The answer for this question will vary from individual to individual. If your earlier partnership lasted for few months, you can recover sooner, but if the earlier partnership lasted for some years, it takes a lot more time to get prepared mentally to go back to the dating scene. The old wounds take a lot more time to heal, and sometimes they may never heal. If at this point of time, you manage to get a dating partner who understands and helps you come out of the memories, you are very lucky.

When you seriously date someone, you get involved. You plan for the future and you are recognized as a regular date of that person amongst your friends. You also give your trust to that person. You care for him/her and make many sacrifices to keep the relationship going. You dream of a bright future ahead and even make every move with consultation. This makes you both very involved with each other. If at this point, you are dumped, you will take lot of healing to come over the bitterness. You might have lost your faith in the opposite sex. So what is to be done?

Involve yourself with your work. Take up a new hobby. Make new friends. Join a club. Go around and enjoy the nature. And whenever you feel the pain of earlier love, feel it intensely. It does not help to push those feelings behind. They will remain there to resurface again. So feel every pain and cry over the loss if necessary. Express the anger and the bitterness. Cleanse yourself as much as possible of the memories.

After you are sure that you have regained your emotional stability, go back to the dating scene. If you find some one interesting with understanding, tell all after few meetings and ask for help and love in return of love. God willing, you will get it.

By CD

C.D.Mohatta writes for romantic ecards and greetings. He mainly writes on motivation, education, love, management, entertainment, etc. He also writes for screensavers and fun tests and quizzes.

No one wants a date with someone with low self esteem and a negative self image. Try to makeover your self confidence and learn how to be a desirable date with these ideas…

Make a list addressing all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be honest. Establish which things people may not like about you and get an honest second opinion. Change the things that are easy first, and ensure you are comfortable with any alterations.

Address the way you look and dress. By changing the basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime, you will instantly feel more confident. By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons your life has already changed for the better and your confidence levels are on the up.

There are a few changes that can be made in your daily life. Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising, remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while. Also, start doing things you wish you always had the courage to do…maybe a hobby, sport, class or society. Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time especially for these things. If you like to cook for friends, then start having dinner parties.

Start dating…if someone has asked you out, accept. If not, be proactive and ask someone out yourself who you like. Just do it, and accept the fact that some people will say no…but many will also say yes. Begin to make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way. Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Now start to be selective about what kind of people you really like. But by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels.

Remember to stay away from people that bring you down or criticize you. Whether a friend or a potential date, you deserve better. Walk away from anything you don’t like and instill a positive attitude in everything that you do.

By Ralph Henderson
If you are looking for more information on online dating or finding that special someone, visit Ralph and Liz’s online dating site

Hey Guys, is your profile up to par? Learn how to avoid the most common mistakes guys make on their profiles.

Are you having a hard time finding that special female companion online? Do you somehow feel you are not connecting as well as you should be? Well, your profile may be the culprit. You’ve spent a sufficient amount of time writing and polishing it up, and you’ve asked the advice of your buddies who’ve said they think it looks fine–but let’s look at this from the view point of a woman. Let’s face it, men and women are different species; what appeals to men may be a turnoff for women. There are many common mistakes guys often make on their profile; let’s take a look at several of them.

Your profile name may be a hoot with your buddies, but is it unappealing to the opposite sex?

Take a look at the profiles of any dating site and you’ll often see usernames that were intended to get a chuckle, but, more often than not, offend women. Guys with usernames such as “partyAllNite21″ or “HotGuy_Wants_U” are usually not aware of the wrong signal they’re broadcasting. There are very few self-respecting females that would think twice about striking up a conversation with a guy that refers to himself as “Mr_Perfect_4_U1980″. It’s wise not to trivialize or to make fun of the online dating process. Most women simply glance at a username, and if it’s not abrasive to their sensitivities they may decide to further peruse the rest of your profile; don’t diminish your chances with a goof ball username. When choosing a username, use a combination of good taste, clean humor, and common sense. Try not to pick something that would send out an improper, negative vibe. Incorporating your favorite past times and your name is always a safe bet. Think of all your positive attributes and the appealing aspects of your personality.

Does your profile resemble a stale resume?

Mentioning your job in your profile is always a plus, but don’t enumerate every job you’ve had since your teenage years. Some guys get sidetracked when writing up their profile for the first time–it’s much easier to neglect your emotional side by pouring out your career goals and aspirations. Try not to dwell on your career–or any topic for that matter–as it tends to draw attention away from the reason you are really here in the first place. Don’t give women the wrong impression by blatantly advertising your workaholic lifestyle. A sentence or two about your livelihood should suffice. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about your job–don’t clutter up your profile with 90% of it. Use your profile as a reflection of what you enjoy outside of the office; you’ll have a much better chance of finding that perfect woman. Most women are looking for a compatible personality, and yakking about your 9-to-5 is a poor indication of what your personality is really like.

Don’t limit yourself. Try not to sound too picky.

When filling in your match’s ideal description, keep in mind that women often take those specifications literally. You may be thinking that you are listing desired general attributes–age, height, interests–and you assume that women will not view these qualities as stringent carved-in-stone requirements, but, truth be told, most women do. If a potential match finds that her weight is a couple pounds out of range, she may pass you up because of a small triviality. The bottom line is this: sounding too picky or judgmental can severely hamper your chances of a hook up. It’s ok to post your match preferences, but by giving some slack to your requests–adding a few years to her age, or perhaps a few pounds to her weight–you greatly increase your chances of hooking up with a fine catch that might not have thought themselves good enough to reply in the first place.

Dwelling on the negativity of past relationships can be dating doom.

Coming across as too jaded or bitter on your profile can result in a lot of missed opportunities. There are few worse turn-offs for women than sounding too hung up on past doomed relationships. Understand that your profile–perhaps aside from your picture–is an important first impression; women will send your profile through a kind of mental filter and any negativity will most likely result in an automatic lose of points. Converting your negatives into positives is always a good course. Instead of pointing out that “I’m tired of playing games all the time”, try to soften it by stating “I believe honesty and trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.” With a little thought, any low points that you’ve experienced in your past relationships can be carefully rewritten so that they won’t make you come across as tried and jaded. Remember, you want them to take an interest in you, so you must give off a pleasant vibe right off the bat.

Be sure to spend some time crafting your essay.

Many men don’t really put much thought and time into their profile essay. What does one say? What is the best way to market one’s self? Playing the strong silent type won’t get you very far in the online dating scene. You can’t afford to skimp on your essay when it’s essentially a window into your personality. Many women use the profile as a deciding factor–should I continue based on what I’ve read so far? Always make sure that you have enough meat in profile essay. Let’s face it–you don’t have to be as articulate as a seasoned novelist. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. The best policy has always been honesty, and your profile essay should be no exception. Just let the reader inside the real you; give them a glimpse inside your personality. You can start by describing what a typical day would be like in your shoes. Mentioning what you do for a living and any of your hobbies is always a plus, as well as sprinkling little bits of humor here and there.

Displaying your vanity is a bad move.

Men often like to show off their six pack abs or their newly acquired tan in their profile photo, but women browsing your dating profile don’t necessarily want to see the entire package just yet; an image of a macho guy flexing his biceps is not usually what motivates a female to immediately respond to your personal ad. Try to maintain an air of mystery about your image–putting on a dressy shirt is not going to scare women away or make them any less attracted to your physical appearance.

Sweetness overload may be a bit too much at times.

Women are notorious consumers of pillow talk and romance–they eat it up, right? So you may be tempted to go overboard on the romantic talk, showering compliments galore. Ask yourself this: is this the way I usually talk to women? If it’s not then your romantic rhetoric may sound fake and forced. Most women are actually looking for authenticity in men. It’s a bad idea to project the sweetness-at-all-times image from the get-go–this move can often lead to a fragile first impression that crumbles at further inspection. A better way to portray your playful side is to explain that you love to have a good time and joke around, but that you know when it’s time to be serious. This lets the ladies know that you’re not out just to play around, and it shows that you have a mature side, knowing when to deal with important issues. When you pour on the sweetness too thick, you may send out the wrong message–desperation.

By Jeremy Konst

Incidences of romance or dating scams have been on the rise since it came to public knowledge not too long ago.Yet,many people in the Western world are yet to grasp the reality of the fact that this scam seems to be on the increase.Perhaps, because most of the people who lose money to these scams do not talk about their losses.Many people prefer to bear the financial losses in silence, rather than disclose to any other party.

On the other hand, in Nigeria and other places where the scammers operate from, large amounts of dollars are being received on a daily basis from the scams.In the third week of March,for instance, a 20 year old young man,just seeking admission into the university, scammed 5000 British Pounds from a middle aged woman in the United Kingdom.He is not the only one collecting such amounts from dating or romance scams.Daily,in thousands of cafes all over Nigeria,especially the SouthWest, and other West African countries,tens of thousands of young people are actively working at the scams,looking for such victims.

But then, the question arises –whom do the scammers target for their activities? Do they just pick on anyone anywhere, or do they have a particular set of people that they focus on to defraud them of their money?

From what I could gather in my research, here are the main types of people that the scams are focused on:

1. Elderly people and other lonely groups: Elderly women and men looking for companionship are believed to be especially vulnerable to the scams.They are believed to be soft at heart,and willing to part with their money in return for romantic affection and attention.

Other lonely groups of people are also a prime target. Their loneliness makes them to be in need of some form of company,which may not be readily available around them in their immediate environment and which the scammers readily provide.

2. Separated women,recently divorced women and the like are easy targets of the scammers. The trauma of their divorce or separation makes them vulnerable to online scams. The scammers hunt on various dating sites for women like these.

3. Overweight people:these set of people are about the easiest to target and to scam,according to the scammers.

It appears some overweight people need someone to admire them and to love them the way they are.
And it also appears that a number of them are insecure emotionally.

And it appears that as a result of this, some overweight women seem to do anything to hold on to a man,even if they do not know if he is for real.

It appears that it is their sense of insecurity and their need for acceptance that is often exploited to get money of them.

4. People Looking For Sex: Many adult websites are a special target of the scammers.The scammers show nude pictures of themselves and engage in sexual acts with the persons they meet on the site.
Usually,the people scammed through adult sites never disclose that they were scammed or keep their losses to themselves.

All those interviewed and who lost money to scams through this means declined to give figures of how much they were scammed of

People living with AIDS, and differently-abled people are also a target of the scams.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of those being targetted by the scams.These happen to be the most popular ones the scammers target.

The best way to deal with the dating or romance scams is to know how the scammers operate and be wise as to their ways.

Educating yourself about these scams helps you to know how to prevent it from happening to you.

By Alan Prince

Alan Prince is an expert on the subject of romance and dating scams.He literally spent hundreds of hours interacting with both the scammers and their victims in the course of this research.His findings are available for you to read at www.elovedeceptions.com

You’ve finally met someone who floats your boat, however, all is not perfect… he/she lives at the opposite end of the country. Obviously, you’re not going to know if it’s worth pursuing until you’ve given the relationship a go but here’s a few things to bear in mind when embarking on a long distance relationship and a few ideas how to keep your relationship hot whilst counting down the days before your next rendezvous.

Ask yourself (and your partner) if you would be prepared to move. Obviously, you don’t want to be scaring him/her off by asking this question on the first date so leave it a few dates or weeks before you broach the subject. When you feel ready, say something along the lines of, “I know this is early days, and I’m not saying I want to make a commitment, but I was wondering what your thoughts on moving would be if our relationship developed into something more serious”. If, for whatever reasons, relocating for both of you is out of the question then there really isn’t much point in continuing to see each other. If either or both of you said “maybe one day once we know each other more” then just see how the relationship develops and discuss it again further down the line.

Share the travelling. Travelling will take up a lot of time and can also be quite tiring and expensive for the traveller so try and share this as much as possible so neither of you get fed up. If it’s easier for him/her to travel to you then take these things into consideration when planning your weekend. Instead of arranging a hectic night out the first night he/she arrives, cook a romantic dinner so you can both relax and unwind indoors, without the hassle or expense of getting ready to go out for a meal.

Don’t lock yourselves away by staying in all the time when you visit each other. It’s very easy to wrap yourselves up in your own little love bubble when you’re in love and, although this can make the relationship very passionate at first, you’ll never discover how your partner behaves with other people. Some people’s personalities can change when socialising with others; they can become jealous, loud, embarrassing or dull. Therefore, after you’ve spent a few weekends getting to know each other and you feel you want to introduce him/her to your friends and family, arrange to meet up with other people just for a few hours in the day. Not only will you get to see a different side to him/her, after sharing your time with others you will no doubt be eager to get back to your love nest!

Keep jealousy at bay by communicating. We’ve all been there…he/she doesn’t phone when they say they will and straight away your mind starts wandering….are they with someone else, have they gone off me etc? In order to avoid this, make a pact with other from the beginning that you will phone, text, write or email at least once a day. If you want this relationship to work, you need to feel like you are in a “regular” relationship, one where if you want to offload your troubles/share your news for the day, you know that he/she is there for you.

Spice it up with a webcam. Whilst this cannot compensate for actually being someone, it’s a great way to keep in touch whilst you’re apart. The fact that you can see each other and knowing that you’re both making the effort to keep in touch and communicate can strengthen and keep your relationship alight whilst apart.

Turn the negative into a positive. Don’t spend every night you’re not together moping around. Make the most of your independence (whilst still having a relationship) by socialising with friends, going to the gym, pampering yourself beauty treatments or simply having some me-time.

Communication, trust, honesty and passion will strengthen your relationship whilst you’re apart but you really have to believe in each other and your relationship for it to succeed…. although long distance relationships can be difficult, they can work and do work for many couples if both parties put in the effort.

By Ali Edwards

Alison Edwards writes articles for www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site. Add you free profile today and search for a date in all UK locations.