You have met your true love online. Is she for real?

The entire world is desperate to find the real love. As the popular songs sounds, ‘All You Need is Love’. It is true: to love and to be loved is probably the most important thing in our life. But what to do if you are not sure - is it Love with a capital “L” or just another temporary flirt?

Doubting if the person you are with is the right one for you is a normal thing especially if you have meet that person through online dating sites and you never have meet her face to face.

But there are some things to consider, especially if she is miles away from you that can help you make up your mind if that person is worth to spend your money and time with.

1. For how long do you known her?

If you just met her - forget about that plane ticket for the moment.

If there are less than 4-6 months since you two have met, your love can be just an illusion. Wait until you know each other better and talk online or on the phone as much as you can to get some trust and comfort in the relationship.

2. What do you talk about?

I am sure that you like to stick to sweet love talk but how she reacts if you are asking her about her family, her friends? Does she gives you details or didn’t want you to know too much about them? You can find out more about her if you know how her friends and family are. You can even talk with her friends online and try to know them this way. But if she don’t tell you too much about people around her, this fact have to make you suspicious about this lady. Is she embarrassed to talk about you in front of her friends or does she have something to hide to you?

3. Do you find her attractive?

Does love depends on sex? IÆm sure you already know the answer. Yes it does. How can be love be complete without the mornings you are waking up in your lover’s arms after a hot passionate night?

So if you talk about HER to YOUR friends all the time and you are already dreaming about her and you didn’t even touched her is a good point, this relationship can have a future, a good one

4. Do you think, honestly, that she likes you?

You can ask for an outside opinion to your best friend or test her. Yes I know that is unfair but everything is fair in love and war. Doesn’t it? So ask her to do some things for you. But what she can do if she is miles away from you, you’ll ask. A lot of things:
- read a book than talk about that book to see how carefully she read it;
- make some photo especially for you… in special places;
- buy a CD with some music you like; etc
When you are asking her these things you have to be careful not to ask something too expensive, or something what she couldn’t do even she want to. But be specific about the things you are asking and ask it in a polite way. If you see that she is trying as hard as she can to do what you are asking her then she is yours

It means that she appreciates you and is curios about what you like, and she is interested in you.

5. If she would win a large sum of money, what would she do with it?

Just ask her. You have all the chances to be surprised by the answers.

It could be: buy new designer clothes, buying everything for herself and/or her purse dog, probably give the money to charity, and quit her job mid-shift. You can discover a lot about a person from the answers to this question. But if somewhere in the answer is your name involved you can smile - she is thinking about you like you are there in here daily life.

6. Do you have a lot in common?

Maybe she is hot and you like her, but a long term relationship involve more than sex. You know that, donÆt you?

So what hobbies do you have in common, where do you both enjoy going in vacations or weekends? What passions you have those are interesting for her too?

These are some important things to consider when you are thinking to spend a little fortune on a plane ticket.

7. Is she the best you can get?

Don’t compromise! We compromise in love because we are so desperate to be loved. But compromising does not lead to feeling loved.

Finding real love has nothing to do with chance, looks, location, or timing. Finding your perfect love-mate has to do with your thinking, your qualities, your affirmations, your spirituality, and your commitment to being with a woman who can love you as equally as you will love her.

So if you considered this few issues and you still are eager to meet her face to face, buy that ticket, it could change your life.

By Ovi Dogar

A great woman is waiting for you right now at eBridex.com

When it comes to sending emails to your online crush, it may be tempting to tell everything about yourself that enyone has ever told you was interesting…and then some. However, when it comes to sending emails, at least in the beginning of your online relationship, the name of the game is restraint. It is important that you do not overwhelm your potential suitor with confessions or long-winded rants. Instead, until you build a solid foundation of trust and comfort, keep your emails short and purposeful.

Still even if those emails are very short and purposeful, there are certain things that you simply will not want to say. Here is a short overview of some of those basic no-nos.

1. Do not send threats. If you sent a threat through email, it is a federal offense. Because most emails traverse through federally guarded and maintained airways, they are considered to be public property. Therefore, just like in a phone call, you are prohibited from saying anything threatening or offensive on email. Also, why would you want to threaten someone if you want to actually date them? The days of playing hard to get are over, as far as threats are concerned.

2. Be deliberate about the details of your life. While it may be tempting to write a tell-all novel for that person that you’re so interested in dating, be deliberate about the information that you share. Every piece of information will help your crush to learn more about you. Therefore, say positive, meaningful things in the beginning (or always.) Help the person get a better idea of just who you are at the core. Share thoughts, jokes and your opinion on certain matters. But make sure that each of these communications if purposeful.

3. Be positive. One of the most telling signs that a relationship may not end on a happy long-term note is if your partner is overtly negative. Negative emails will not only be downers for the day, but they will also not represent a somewhat catastrophic side of your mate’s personality. After all, even if the emailer is funny and realistic, too much negative energy will drain the living daylights out of your creativity and vibrancy.

4. Talk about yourself. While in general communications, it is considered polite to avoid talking too much about yourself, when you’re getting to know a potential mate it is important to be as open and honest as possible. In fact, it is considered polite to go out of your way to talk about yourself it talking about yourself is not something that you ordinarily do. One way to let your potential mate know that you’re interested in a long-term relationship (or just a deep sense of understanding) is to talk about how you feel so that he or she can determine whether the two of you truly are intellectually, emotionally and spiritually compatible. Therefore, try not to avoid talking about yourself.

There are certain common considerations that come in all relationships when a pair is getting to know one another on a new level. If you are embarking on a relationship with someone via the Internet, it is vital that you observe the basic rules of email. While there is no written policy on email communications, it is generally considered polite to share information in a positive, optimistic and interested manner. Of course, always be sure to ask plenty of questions about your partner as well so that you also can determine whether or not the relationship will be compatible in the long-tern. Happy typing!

By Claire Brent

Lost in the jungle of online dating? Grab a copy of our free roadmap at www.ezguide2.com/onlinedating/.

Every one of us is looking for an ideal partner, the person who fulfils our need to love and be loved. The problem is there are so many people who can pass the first-glance test that you can be looking your whole life and not know who to select. So how can you end up with an ideal partner who’ll love you with all her heart? This article leads the way.

(In the Garden of Eden)
Eve: Adam, do you love me?
Adam: Who else?

Every day you go out, you see hundreds of attractive people. A hot-blooded male in his younger days may think, “I can go with her…or her… or her. Arrgh! How do I decide?” As a man grows older, if he is fortunate enough, he learns how to look beyond exterior beauty because all women are beautiful nowadays, aren’t they? So it can give a man one big headache to identify a woman who is truly compatible with him in mind, body, and soul. Women understand that men are born to think with their smaller heads. So being the intelligent creatures they are – they use visual stimulus to appeal to the male instinct. Thus a man, who does not make fine distinctions into character and personality, may find that many women appeal to him. But if he learns to go a step further and say, “Yes, she’s attractive to me. But what’s she all about?” Then he goes beyond seeing women as visual objects, and more as people.

*Desire is bad for you?*
The attraction between men and women is biological, it’s inherited and it’s unstoppable. You don’t need to make an excuse for your desire. One reason why we do not approach those who are attractive to us is because we are religiously and culturally programmed to believe desire is ‘baaaad’. A pious man who has the opportunity to meet an attractive woman may tell himself, “No! I must not give in to temptation! The desire is too strong!” But really, it’s just an excuse for himself because he’s afraid of rejection. And unless he can come to terms with his desire – see it as a guiding force, rather than an urge to be suppressed – he may never end up with a woman he truly wants. Members of the opposite sex, who are more genetically compatible with you, will spur a greater sense of desire in you. It’s natural. If you suppress the biological instinct when selecting a partner… you probably won’t have a happy sex life.

*Men and Women: Not So Different *
People like to believe that men and women are really different, but by nature they aren’t. We grow up imagining the opposite sex is some great mystery because everything about them seems different, and so we think it’s difficult to talk to the opposite sex. But really, men and women are very similar. They are anatomically different, but it’s not that big a difference. The human sexual organs are simply the inverse of each other. Penis and clitoris are made from the same embryological tissue. Male seeds hang outside (testicles), while female seeds are kept inside (ovaries). It’s just one big reversal. What forces the difference is the action of testosterone.

“Okay then,” you say. “What about the difference in the way men and women think? They don’t like the same things; they don’t talk the same, walk the same or wear the same clothes!” (Well… actually some do.)

Although men and women act differently, that’s not so much a biological instinct as it is a cultural role they are taught to play. Men don’t automatically love soccer, beer drinking, or going to the gym – they are culturally programmed to adopt these behaviours because it brings them greater social approval.

“A man who does not watch soccer is not ‘one of the boys’; a man who does not drink beer is not real man; a man who’s muscular earns the respect of his peers and is more attractive to women.”

These are beliefs so deeply ingrained into us that people might tell you it’s a fact, just like how women learn about the importance of being beautiful from magazines, television, and friends. What creates such a great difference in thinking and behaviour is not nature, but the enculturation of newborns into their gender roles. Blue for boys, pink for girls; toss the boys around, but be gentle with the girls. From young, everything about our culture teaches the sexes to differentiate themselves. From the clothes we wear to whether we can fart in public.

Being too focused on the exterior of a person, you only see the physical and cultural difference – the accessories and behaviours created to differentiate the sexes. But look past the surface and you’ll see that each person, male or female, is subject to the same laws of emotion, logic, reason, and motivation. They have wants and desires, dislikes and hates; they communicate through language; they have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two ears, ten fingers and ten toes. They have much more in common than they do in difference. So it is a folly to believe it is difficult to relate to the opposite sex. Just talk to them as you would any casual person, and you’ll see that even the most attractive person is easy to chat with.

*Being Worthy*
Women will choose the men they want to be with. And if a guy doesn’t believe that, he might as well bury his head in the sand (hide from reality). A man should not worry about trying to ‘get a woman’ – she will choose the man she wants. What he should worry about, and it is his business to focus on this… is becoming the best that he can be – in mind, body, spirit; socially, financially, and emotionally. In raising his standard of himself, he will naturally attract the kind of woman he’s been looking for. Understand that these women are also looking for him, but not that old sloppy version of him, they want the new well-groomed, emotionally and financially secure, entertaining and warm-hearted man, where they can lie safely in his arms, protected from a harsh and crazy world. This makes women seem superficial, but understand that their biological instinct is to select a male who can protect, nurture, and entertain at the same time.

*Love is a commitment*
To sustain love, two people have to choose each other. If either partner defaults or is unsure, the whole relationship falls apart. It doesn’t matter how much you love the other person, if they do not return your love. This reminds me of those Chinese drama serials where they are so fond of saying, “Ai Qing Shi Bu Neng Mian Qiang De” – translated it means ‘you can’t force love’. And this will be the time when the male suitor will grip his head and cry, “Why! Why?!!” Then he has no alternative, but to drown his sorrows in drink, and maybe get knocked down by a truck. Then the girl will visit him in hospital, where with his dying breath he whispers his last words of undying love… then he dies.

A great love relationship is not something you find, but something you build and commit yourself to. There are tons of beautiful people in the world and many who will seem more attractive to you than your partner. To some people, the grass is always greener on the other side. So what do they do? They hop over to the neighbour’s lawn! But then the lawn doesn’t seem so green anymore… but it looks like there’s a greener one next door, so they hop again! They do their partner hopping, dating and exchanging, in search of the greenest lawn, but they’ll never find it because a beautiful relationship, like a beautiful garden, must be tended to and cared for. You can have ‘happily forever after’ with the girl you choose, but you must commit yourself to it. Without commitment, nothing lasts.

*An Uncommitted Partner*
Sometimes you might find that although you are ready to commit, your partner doesn’t seem to want to settle. Women have commitment problems too, you know? She may be on the lookout for the ideal guy who can fulfil her whims and fantasies… some idealistic vision of what a man should be. What you can do in this case, is not to give up hope yet, but put your full effort into convincing her you’re the man of her dreams. Pull out your Ferrari, your 5Cs, your love potion – everything and anything. If all else fails, then step back and realize that she has her own dreams and ideals. And as a man who still cares for her, the best you can do is allow her to follow her dreams. Gracefully step aside and wish her well. The right girl will come along for you one day.

If you want to find an ideal partner, you first have to be an ideal partner. A man does not have to worry about chasing women if he’s focused on being the best he can be. By turning himself into an attractor rather than an attacker, he lifts himself above the neediness and hunger most men portray. Women are naturally attracted to him because he fulfils what they want in a man. He’s not afraid to talk to women because he sees them as people rather than sexual objects. When he feels a woman fits his ideal, he chases her with everything he’s got. If she loves him and will commit to him, they stay together. If she wants someone else, he lets her go and carries on with his life knowing that he’s doing what’s best for both of them. The best partner is not one you win over, but one who chooses you and loves you with all her heart. Remember that.

Lance Ong is a Certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Timeline Therapy. He does life coaching to help clients gain clarity of purpose, while removing mental blocks to success. Discover Truth, Meaning, and Happiness in Life at Lance’s Blog – Wisdom to Create a Beautiful World – www.Lancism.com.

Would you buy a car, sight unseen? How about a diamond ring? I don’t know about you, but I want to see what I am buying.

Unbelievably, many people are dating online and not posting photos of themselves. What a waste of time. I just read a statistic that said 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have posted a picture of themselves.

What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you?

I wonder if people lack confidence in themselves or feel unattractive. Look, you are who you are. Period. Put your best out there and you will find somebody.

Many people that do upload photos are making mistakes. Here are common mistakes I’ve seen in photos. I’m sure you can add to this list.

1. Blurry.

2. Old picture.

3. Group shots.

4. Out of focus.

5. Kids in the shot.

6. People drinking or toasting.

7. Sexually suggestive photos.

8. People cut off.

9. Photos with a mysterious arm around the subject (but they aren’t in view).

10. Too far away.

11. Way too close, like the camera is hitting them in the head.

12. Not smiling.

13. Washed out, so person looks white as a ghost.

14. Photos that include guys (if you are female) or vice versa.

15. Photos showing a “bad attitude.”

16. The ‘deer in the headlights’ photo.

17. Wearing unattractive or non-flattering clothing.

18. Ultra formal pictures.

OK, I could go on, but you get the point.

Wait, bad haircuts. Couldn’t resist throwing in one more for you.

Now, here are some tips for great photos.

First, get your picture done by a professional. This is your life and love life we are talking about. Take it seriously and do it right.

Second, smile. Simple. You look better and will attract more people to you.

Third, use a current photo, or nothing more than one year old. Can’t tell you how often I was expecting a date for coffee and they were ten years older in real life than their picture showed.

Fourth, post multiple photos if the site allows. One shot is good, two shots better, three shots great.

Fifth, no group photos. Look, if I’m browsing, I’m not looking to date you and your friends or family (that’s a different issue). I’m just looking at you.

Sixth, make yourself look like a fun, inviting person. I can’t say what to do here specifically, but I know it when I see it. People are browsing, and probably browsing fast. Your picture registers in their brain for a split second. It must register a message that says something like: “wait…slow down…this person looks interesting.” If your picture doesn’t communicate that, you are done for.

So, avoid the mistakes and follow the tips. Easy as “1-2-3 cheese.” (Boy, that was totally cheesy, but I couldn’t resist).

To Your Dating Success,

Jeffrey Betman

Jeffrey Betman is in his forties, single, and Jewish. He has over 30 years of dating experience. See www.JewishDatingHelp.com for more info.