You see, knowing what to SAY to a woman is utterly and totally dependent on WHAT YOU CAN OBSERVE ABOUT THAT WOMAN.

It’s not so much a matter of what to say.

No, the real secret of “opening” women is, knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice, and even KNOWING WHAT TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT.

Does that make sense?

Also, the approach to opening her might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right?

Why?

Because the CONTEXT she is in and what you NOTICE about her is going to be different.

If she’s studying, and you notice that she’s having a hard time; thinking really hard, talking to herself outloud or just thinking “OUTLOUD” in her head, it would NOT make sense to walkup and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.

So, I will say it again. The most important thing, first and foremost, is NOT what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.

Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them?Is it a good way to first “open up” talking to a woman? If so,what should I compliment?

Ok. I’ll repeat: it depends on the context, where she is,what she is doing, and what you NOTICE and can OBSERVE.

Look: whether it is opening her by using a compliment, or asking her a question about something, or making a comment about something she’s doing or something going on in the environment,I will ask myself the same question, “What can I notice about this person that I can use to make a connection?”

Now, let’s say I notice something about her that I DO find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:

1. NO sexual content in the compliments. That means I don’t compliment on her great boobs, great legs, great butt, etc. No woman (no half-way SANE woman) wants a drooling lecher.

2. All compliments to be delivered with good eye contact (infact, ANY openers are delivered this way) with a smile on my face AND in my eyes ( I sort of make them twinkle a bit) and deliverd with a MATTER of fact voice tone.

This means I don’t over do it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered, matter of fact, with no concern on my part whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.

It is NOT about her accepting or rejecting what I say. It is ONLY about me wanting to say what I have to say, and any response she has is OK WITH ME.

Really, this is about the sub-text. This means, you see, that there is the surface message, the actual words I say. Those can be important.

But the sub-text is the unspoken or implied message I am delivering about me and how I walk through the world; that take full responsibility for how I feel about myself, my situation, the events and circumstances in my life, and I don’t need anyone to approve or validate my message.

Now, trust me. When you come from THAT place, and add in a touch of humor….

Almost Anything You Say Will Get A Good Response!

Notice something else. This is a great but different KIND of confidence. It’s not the kind of confidence that say, loudly, “I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT”.

It’s more of a, “If I get what I want, that’s fine and good, and if not, that’s ok too. I’m having fun regardless”.

Ok. Back to compliments then.

I prefer to compliment women on the following things:

1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy awoman who moves beautifully and/or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows, “I just wanted to tell….I think you have perfect…….posture. You just carry yourself beautifully.”

Notice the ……. This indicates a pause in your speaking. I don’t run everythingtogetherintoonesentencelikethis.

No. I take….my….time. I pause, right before I tell them what I am going to tell them, so they will get curious about what I am going to say, and therefore be more receptive.

The pauses in the music are as much a part of the music as the notes, to use a metaphor.

2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say, “I just wanted to tell you…I admire women with class and style…so I had to say “hi”. I’m YOUR NAME HERE.”

Note that this is what I call an IMPLIED compliment. I didn’t’ directly tell her I think SHE has class and style. I said I admire women with class and style, so I had to say “hi”.That IMPLIES that I think she has class and style.

Why is this important?

Well, by implying the compliment, she has to use her imagination to interpret what you meant.

Imagination is an ACTIVE process, and so she doesn’t resist the message, as she herself has to take an active hand in creating it!

Implied compliments are very useful in slipping past any resistance or skepticism to your message!

3. I will compliment on their “energy”. I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into “energy” or “vibes”. It doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not-although I hope one day you will.

The important thing is, MOST women believe in it.

So if I notice a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say, “I just wanted to tell you…..I think you have..a beautiful….energy about you, and it just made me have to say “hi”. I’m YOUR NAME HERE”.

Ok. Another major way to meet women is to say something funny; make an observation or comment that is humorous, based on something you can observe.

Now, again, I can’t give you a “one line fits all” example, because again, it’s based on what you are observing in the actual situation. So you will have to observe her, asking, “What can I notice that I can use to make a connection?”.

Next, ask yourself, “How can I phrase that in a clever, funny way that gets attention and makes her laugh?”

This takes some practice. But you can get good at it.

Now, again, I hesitate to give word for word examples, because it depends on what you observe.

Here Are Some Approaches I Do NOT Recommend:

1. Asking her the time, or for directions. It’s trite, lame, and then where do you go from there? If you are terribly shy and can’t even talk to women, ok, you can start here. But learn to do something else quickly.

2. Being insulting or in any way rude. I don’t care what you might have heard. Insulting a woman is stupid. Any woman with choice is just going to move on. If she’s kind, she won’t insult you back. If she isn’t, she just might give a verbal tongue lashing, and that’s not the kind of tongue action you want!

3. Invading her space when I meet her. Once I make my initial opening, tell her my name, shake her hand; I then actually take a step back, away from her, to give her back her space.

Women tell me that, to them, it demonstrates respect. It also indicates that, while I am strong enough to come up and meet them, I am also concerned with their safety, and they like that combination. And finally, it indicates a challenge: just because she gave me a good initial response to my opener, doesn’t mean she has me! It establishes a challenge, right away.

Peace and piece,

Ross Jeffries

By: Ross Jeffries

Ross Jeffries blogs on Speed Seduction speedseductions.blogspot.com/

She said yes when you asked her to go out with you. You both are excited, the mood is set and it is the beginning of a new, special and romantic relationship. The initial period of the first year is special because both, the guy and the girl, get to discover each other. Six months down the line both know each other pretty well.

By the end of that year, the strength of the relationship is established and so is the quality of the partner. A woman will know if her man is uncaring.

That’s why in the first year, it is important for men to watch their behaviour. He shouldn’t set her expectations too high, and he shouldn’t try to fit her mould of the perfect boyfriend. But men will always be men and somewhere down the line they go wrong and make mistakes. Here are some of the most common mistakes that men make in that most critical year.

Saying I love you too often

These three little words should be said only when a guy means it. Otherwise they become meaningless. Yes, women long to hear it, but at the same time if it is overused, it will jade. He should save it for very rare occasions; make her beg for them. And only say these when he really, really means it.

Forgiving all her mistakes

A woman is normally on her best behaviour during the first year, but he shouldn’t let her annoying habits slide away, otherwise she will get used to these habits. He should tell her what irritates him and should never tolerate annoying behaviour, such as screaming at him or making fun of him in public. If he sweeps it all under the carpet, it will blow up eventually.

Always initiating sex

A man should show initiative chiefly outside the bedroom. When it comes to sex, it should be an equal game. He shouldn’t let the burden of starting sex fall entirely on him.

Taking her for granted

One or the biggest traps men fall into is getting too comfortable with a woman. He stops taking her out on dates. He no longer cares about how she looks and stops being attentive, ignoring details about her. If his woman is special to him, he should show it and always treat her like it’s their first month together and not take her for granted.

Avoiding confrontation

Communication is the key to solving problems, so if he avoids talking about them, they’ll only get bigger. A small argument now is much better than a painful fight later. Avoiding confrontation also means agreeing with her dismissively.

Letting her make all plans

Not only do women dislike men who can’t take initiative, they actually hate taking it themselves. Shirking all decisions does display respect or an easy-going attitude. It shows a lack of concern. He should go ahead and choose what to eat, where he goes and what he wears. There’s a fme line between compromise and indecisiveness.

If all these mistakes are avoided the relation can blossom into a long lasting understanding that will always bind both of them together. So guys, try to avoid making these mistakes so that your girl is happy.

By: Michael Douglas

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and he has written several articles about love, dating, marriage and relationships which can be found at his websites www.go-get-guys.com and www.mendatingmanual.com.

With the plethora of online dating services that are available online these days, the whole process of online dating can be a very daunting task. Every time you visit one of them, you wonder if they are the best way to help you find what you are looking for, and you hate to register or use their services if you are not sure they are the best. A tool that can review the online dating service can be a very useful tool to use when trying to determine which one is best for you and what you are looking for.

Obviously, the type of online dating service you use has a huge bearing on the quality of the prospective date that you may meet. For the most part, the online dating services allow you to maintain anonymity while you are getting to know a potential date, but not all are as protective of your information as you may like.

One of the factors that is critical for the online dating service is that they provide good quality candidates for you to review, as well as a variety of choices. There are checks in place to make sure that a disgruntled member does not submit a ton of negative reviews for a particular site because of a bad experience they had there. Still, if you read too many bad reviews about a particular online dating site, it may be an indication that there is a problem there that you don’t want to get involved with.

Remember, the reason you are doing this is to find a friend, a partner, a soul-mate, someone who shares your interests, your values, and your viewpoints. That does not mean they will be a clone of YOU, since that would definitely be a boring relationship, but the online dating site should allow you to get enough information about a potential candidate so that you can determine if he or she is someone you might wish to contact through email.

Almost all the online dating sites allow you to make contact through anonymous email messages. They have a system setup at their site so that all email is handled from their site, so the person that you are trying to contact does not even know your real email address. If you are a bit paranoid about this, you can always get a free “throwaway” email address from Hotmail or Yahoo that you will use specifically for the online dating service that you are using.

You need to understand that dating is not an exact science, and that it takes time to find out if you share enough common ground with someone to want to take things to the next step. A profile cannot list each and every characteristic of another person, but it should give you enough information to allow you to make a decision about whether or not you wish to contact that person through the online dating service’s email system.

Although the ability to do this “candidate review” online 24 hours a day has many advantages, it is not without disadvantages. If you do not narrow your search by zip code, for example, you may find that the ideal potential mate lives 3000 miles away, and getting together for a real date might be next to impossible.

The services vary widely but take some time to look around the sites, and if one looks promising, even sign up for a short term trial account to get a feel for it. Online dating sites can be great, but you need to know what you are looking for. Chances are that you CAN find a great match!

By: Jon Arnold

Find the best Online Dating Service by visiting www.onlinedatingtips4all.com, a popular website that offers online dating tips, advice and resources to include information about online dating for single parents, seniors, and all lifestyles so that you can use to find that special someone for you.

Are you a man? Is there someone special in your life? Would you like to show her your romantic side, but you don’t know how to do? There is a stereotype that men are not capable of being romantic, but the premise of this article is to show that this stereotype is only a stereotype indeed. In reality, men are surely able to be romantic. All they need is help on how to be romantic, such as texts providing romantic ideas for them.
Men need to be encouraged more to think more broadly and not only in terms of sex but also other ways to make their girlfriend or wife happy. Men need to be provided various romantic ideas and it doesn’t mean that telling them how to be better in bed or instructing them how to be better lovers. Romance is not necessarily synonymous with having sex.
If you are a man reading this and wondering where to start gathering ideas on how to be more romantic, one good place would be your girlfriend or wife. Just ask them, “what can I do to be more romantic?” Chances are, she will have lots of ideas. Many women would be thrilled if their significant others asked them such a question.
If you have a girlfriend or wife who hasn’t given much thought about this topic, and gives responses like, “I don’t know.” That’s okay, this is an opportunity to engage her. You can take help from her in brainstorming about various romantic ideas for men or romantic ideas for boyfriend, if you would like to be more specific.
But you may decide not to discuss the matter with her at all, because you’d prefer to catch her by surprise with a romantic gesture. You’re to be congratulated if this is your plan, because you’re thinking romantically already. Conjuring up a surprise for your beloved is very romantic.
There are always some of the more obvious ways to be romantic that you might want to try. Some ideas would be to buy her things, perhaps candy, perfume, flowers, or maybe just a nice card. You could also take her to a nice restaurant or you might decide to show off your own skills in the kitchen and cook her a nice meal.
Can you not cook and you are on a budget. Nothing to worry. Romance is showing that special someone that you care about her. You can show that by running errands for when she is busy. Romance does not require special skills or money. When you are on a budget you can write love notes to show that you love her.
As you can see, romantic gestures for men can be very simple. This should comes as no surprise - romance is essentially all about thinking of another and showing them how you love and care for them. When you think of it like this, it’s easy for all men to be romantic.

By: Ron Thomson

Men are capable of being romantic. However they require help with how to be romantic with articles such as romantic ideas for men. Romance is not sex although sex can be romantic but to make wife/girlfriend happy romance has to be looked at wider area. Asking one’s beloved what they would like you to do to be more romantic will make them happy.

Attracting a girl in the real world may not be as easy as what you’ve seen in the movies. Women don’t just fall for you when you make that cute smile or that expressive eye contact. You have to know how to attract a girl appropriately before you can really expect to get her attention. Use these effective methods on how to attract a girl and you may soon find her falling head over heels for you.

Think attractive. How would you attract that gorgeous woman if you don’t think you are attractive? Appreciate your looks and your body as they are now. If you feel attractive, a girl would most likely pick up on this; but if you feel ugly, she will also sense this.

Of course, this does not mean that you do not have to improve yourself physically if you find you can still lose some weight or work out for physical fitness. However, feeling attractive as you are now will help you draw women in.

Confidence is key. A confident man is very appealing to women. And it does not have to be a “loud” kind of confidence. A man who exudes quiet confidence in things he does is far more attractive than a man who boasts of his accomplishments. In fact, a man who boasts may actually have an underlying sense of insecurity, and thus, is not confident at all. This is definitely not how to attract a girl.

So, when you talk to a girl, exude confidence. If you have to talk about your accomplishments, mention them only briefly and lightly, in the context of a personal story.

Chivalry still wins! Even in this age of equality of the sexes, being a gentleman is still in, but recognize that you’re doing so not because women are inferior, but because you respect and cherish them. Open doors, pull chairs for a girl, and let her feel you respect her.

Be captivated. When you’re talking to her, show that you’re interested in every word she says. Make eye contact. Lean forward. Nod at appropriate moments. Do not check out other people, especially other women, while talking to her. Give her your full attention.

Give sincere compliments. A girl likes being appreciated. Find something you really like about her (it may be what attracted you to her in the first place) and compliment her on it. The more specific the compliment is, the better.

Never, ever give fake compliments. The girl will eventually see through you if you do. And besides, if you like her, why would you need to fake a compliment?

Make her laugh. A good sense of humor is one of the best assets a man can have in attracting a girl. Laughter can bring instant connection in a conversation. In addition, the girl will most likely be sure to remember you. Recall any previous experience when another person made you laugh and feel good, then apply that experience to the girl you’re attracted to.

Sometimes, you don’t exactly need to make her laugh, but keep the conversation light and fun.

Apply these great tips on how to attract a girl and you’ll find meeting women enjoyable rather than nerve-wracking.

By: Lee, Michael

Self-help expert Michael Lee is giving away 2 FREE amazing reports on www.20daypersuasion.com/laugh-secret.htm”> how to attract girls and make women laugh at www.20daypersuasion.com/laugh-secret.htm”> www.20daypersuasion.com/laugh-secret.htm