If you are of a certain generation, you may remember hearing it upon its initial release or you could have heard it recently on some oldies radio station. By it, I mean the old song that goes, “Everybody plays the fools sometimes. There is no exception to the rule.”

There are many circumstances where playing the fool happens to the best of us. One of those circumstances where you can feel particularly vulnerable is in a dating relationship. You want to please the other person so in turn they will like you that much more. This includes getting into situations that you do not feel comfortable. So how do you avoid these situations? By using one word that has more power than we give it credit for having. No.

It is hard to put forth a good “no” and stand by it. For whatever reason, it makes many of us uncomfortable. If your date wants to go to a nightclub that you detest, you may initially say no but wind up going anyway. Why is that? Because the chances are that you wavered and in so doing your date picked up on it. From there, it was easy for them to wear down your resistance. Did you have a good time at the club? Not even a little bit.

In the book, The Artist Way written by Julie Cameron there is a quote which states, “Saying no is the ultimate self care.” Her point is not to let yourself get caught in poor me situations. This means doing something the other person may want but it is guaranteed to leave you feeling miserable.

So how do you stick by that no and mean it?

1. The Voice.

A wavering no is a cautious yes in disguise. You do not have to get angry about it but make sure your tone is firm and consistent. The consistent part is especially important during the follow up. The chances are if the other person is determined to get their way then one no will not get the job done, so be ready.

2. The Reasons

If you do not want to go to that nightclub then offer your date valid reasons why and stick to them. Saying you do not want to go because you do not want to go is not a good answer. If however you put forward legitimate explanations, it tells your date you are serious. Yes they may try to negotiate your reasons for answering no. Just stand by those reasons and pretty soon your date will realize trying to convince you is a lost cause. .

3. No Apology

If you give valid reasons with a firm tone and then turn around and apologize, you are asking for trouble. Your date may sense that you are feeling guilty about your answer and start the whole process over again; figuring this time they will definitely wear you down and get you to say yes. Even if you feel you must apologize for the circumstances, never apologize for your answer.

The word “no” is a tough one. Sticking to it can be even tougher especially if you really like the person you are dating. But giving in to the other person all the time no matter what the relationship is not healthy. That is why it is important when you do say no to be firm, offer valid reasons why and make no apology for your answer. If the other person likes and respects you, they will realize that saying no is sometimes in the best interest of both parties.

By: Daryl

Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information plus your free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It’s all at The Dating Tip

Many people have to overcome their shyness before starting to date. If you are a very shy person, you should be encouraged by the fact that a lot of persons like you have learned to have active dating lifestyles.

However, shy guys could not get themselves to make the first move or ask someone out on a date without considerable struggle or pain. This could block your chance of introducing yourself to someone you find very interesting.

There is a double-edge sword for shy people. Most times they belong to their own group of friends or family that provides them support. These groups know the person, understand the shyness and accept him or her, and often enjoy their company. This sense of refuge in your own group could work against the shy person and prevent them from venturing out to meet new people with different backgrounds and personalities. So what could a lonely shy person do besides curl up in front of the TV with the remote control?

The first thing to do is to recognize that being shy prevents you from dating and that you should overcome it. Sit yourself down and relax and start thinking of dating someone you like. Focus on the feelings, fears and apprehensions that develop as you start working yourself through the imaginary date. It is very helpful to have a clear understanding of your thoughts and feelings so you can confront the things that cause that paralyzing dread, that overwhelming shyness that could stop you dead on your tracks.

If you have great difficulty in isolating your thoughts, it would be a good idea to consider visiting a therapist for a few sessions of personal counseling. Only a few could be needed because the idea is for the therapist to help you identify the real causes of your shyness for dating. Once the process helps in isolating these causes, you would need little help in confronting or overcoming them. The counselor would also help build your confidence in facing these issues.

With or without the counselor, you could try to enact an imaginary date in your mind. Moving in precise steps: from meeting a woman, talking to her, calling her on the phone to set a date, choosing a place, picking her up, and so on. In your mind, walk yourself through each stage in as much detail as you can. Try to begin in a way or situation that is most comfortable with you. Then, at each stage, confront any tension or panic that you feel could prevent you from going to the next step. Repeat the “date” through each imaginary step until you can picture the entire dating sequence without feeling stressed out or petrified with shyness.

Once you understand your shyness and have a little idea of how to face it, it is time to go out with another person for a “test date”. Every person has persons from the opposite sex that is close to them. For guys, they would be a sister, a cousin, a good friend, colleague, or teammate. Make sure that the person is someone close to you and there is no chance of getting intimate with them. This friend should understand your dating (or more appropriately, “non-dating”) situation and be prepared to help you through some practice night outs or dates.

Depending on how close you are to this practice date partner, you can go through all the motions of a real date. Contact or call them and do all the steps we identified earlier in your “imaginary date” in these practice nights out. Act out a role as if the other person is a potential romantic date.

As practice runs go, a shy person is bound to mess up some of the steps. So it’s good to have a good friend playing practice date. Both of them can laugh off all the bloopers during the exercise, and may even make up good funny stories in the future. More importantly, they could talk about what went wrong, or when some sudden shyness acted up again. Remember, shyness not only affects how you relate to your date, but probably all people that the person will meet while he or she is with the said date (like the bartender, waiter, other guests in the restaurant, etc…). Having test dates will help call out potential “shy” traps.

Often, shyness comes from having feelings of low self-esteem. If it is something like being self-conscious of one’s weight or clothes, it could be remedied. Going on a fitness training program or changing your wardrobe will solve those two problems. And you should know that regular exercise gives you a slight feeling of exhilaration. So although you may not have lost all the extra pounds, you feel healthier, fitter and more comfortable around other people. The important thing is you did something to remove that feeling of inadequacy and made yourself feel better about yourself.

The pick-up lines, choice of date places, and seduction come a little later. What a shy guy should remember is overcoming the hurdle of meeting other people for a date is the key to starting off an active dating life.

By:

My Relationship Tips has hundreds of dating and relationship tips for men and women.

Recent survey showed that a good number of men favor to date single mothers. Out of five thousand men, forty eight percent find single mothers more motivated and mature in nurturing a relationship.

Twenty-five percent want or choose to date single mothers for the reason that single mothers are faced with a demanding and hectic schedule which is why they recognize the value of sacrifice single moms had to go through, making them a stronger person and the type to value a relationship.

Seventeen percent said that when they dated a single mom, it was an opportunity seeing the woman care for her children and that is such a wonderful sight.

Here are reasons why men love dating single moms:

1. Men look up to their mothers; therefore they see the single mom as a person who is more focused and responsible in life. She already knows what are her priorities and definitely will not let go of her children’s happiness for a man. Therefore, when she chooses to date a man, the man must be real special.

2. Single moms are strong, having had gone through raising her children alone.

3. They are independent, have a direction in life and very confident.

4. They value the quality of time, and this sets them apart. When they date a man or in a relationship, they often make the most out of that moment, and value their time spent together.

5. Single mothers give importance and cherish lasting relationships. They do not just fill time when dating, as they need to decide on doing something for them at the same time accomplishing the task of being a father and a mother to her kids. To the man searching for a lasting and true relationship, the single mom is perfect.

6. They approach dating with sincerity and not just a segment of a sequence of worthless dates or that which sprouts from one’s fear of loneliness.

7. Single moms relish their time when alone on a date and appreciate a simple evening, giving more importance of your time spent together, and not on how grand it is. This makes them fun to date.

Here are guidelines in dating single moms:

1. When she wants you to give her time before you meet her kids, be patient and realize that this is not because she does not like you, instead, she wants to become acquainted with you, at the same time that you will have a chance to become acquainted with her first “as a woman”, before you know her as a mom.

She still wants to know for sure how your relationship develops before introducing the kids to you.

2. Understand that she is a mom, her first priority being her children, so as much as she wants to, she can not make spur-of-the-moment plans with you. However romantic unplanned dinner dates may seem, understand that they are simply unworkable for single moms.

3. Know your part and never try to discipline her kids. Leave the disciplining to the mom and never be a father to her kids. They already have one, and will only feel bitter towards you if and when you take their father’s place.

Just be their friend whom they can trust and count on. This way, they will accept you and appreciate you more.

4. After a while of dating together and you know that you both are on your way to a lasting relationship, including the kids in your plans can be a great idea, wherein her children and you can spend time and get to know each other better. Plan your outings that kids will love and enjoy.

Dating women with children would entail so much than dating single women. However, should you really like a single mom and is willing to give the relationship a shot, then go for it. The single mom has many good qualities worth knowing and she has many good values worth your time. Let her kids be not of hindrance to you. As long as there is understanding, patience, dedication and love, you will both have a lasting relationship that you both will enjoy in the coming years.

By:

My Relationship Tips has hundreds of dating and relationship tips for men and women.

Let’s face it… Learning the art of approaching women (hot and beautiful women, at that) can be downright challenging - and that’s putting it lightly. Many a men either (a) strike out and look like losers or (b) ride the pine and watch helplessly while other guys captivate the opposite sex, symbolically reducing the manhood of the benchwarmers to the stuff that goes into hot dogs.

The bad news is that a similar scenario plays out all too often in pubs, clubs, and lounges across the globe. Fear of rejection has been a plague upon man since antiquity. However, the good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

Learning the art of approaching women can be the tipping point to help you cross that elusive threshold of social success. But such a change in approach often requires that you to abandon your current comfort zone - something easier said that done. With that in mind, there are three key points that will help make your transition from public pariah to social sweet talker a lot smoother.

1. Be yourself…

Yes, the phrase is cheesy and a little cliche. However, it still holds true. You are not looking to become the man you think she wants you to be. Even if you miraculously manage to snag the woman with some half-baked approach, time will eventually reveal the real you. Lying and being fake usually doesn’t bode well for the longevity of a relationship.

If you’re just interested in a one-night stand, you could, perhaps, get away with such a method of approaching women (however, I would not recommend it). But, if you’re looking for something with a tad bit more stability, then the best advice is to be yourself. Your job is to put the best you forward.

2. Chicks dig confidence…

It’s true… chicks dig confidence (and the long ball). Being secure in yourself is, in many ways, an extension of the first point. Women, time and time again, will admit that nothing (except for humor, maybe) is more attractive than confidence.

Perhaps, the better term to use is “swagger,” that happy medium between spineless pansy and obnoxious jerk. It’s exactly one notch below arrogance. To the female, it sends the message that you recognize the world does not revolve around her.

For instance, let’s assume we’re in your average lounge or club. By the bar is a gorgeous female who is being swarmed by guys. Instead of following suit and hoping for the best you, instead, choose to buy a drink, make eye contact with her, and proceed to go on about your business.

Now, some people might be asking: “how is doing that any different than going into a bar and avoiding the female altogether?” Quite simply, it’s different because you have separated yourself from the other guys in the place - but, this time, you did so by standing out for all the right reasons.

Chances are pretty high in your favor that she will notice this. Automatically, her interest has been piqued. Why? Because you are now a challenge. Your odds of success will be much better if you decide to approach the woman later, toward the end of the night, or whenever she’s not being bombarded by a flock of horny (and equally clueless) dudes.

3. Have fun… regardless!

A simple tip to remember before going out to practice the art of approaching women, is this: don’t go out to practice approaching women. Yes, the tip is a bit cryptic… But, basically, what it means is that going out should still be about good friends, good food, and good times.

Don’t let women (or the lack thereof) stop you from having fun. Ironically enough, if you do this, it will make approaching women much easier. Women like men who know how to have fun. If a female sees you enjoying yourself instead of gawking over her like every other guy in the place, you will stand out even more.

These three tips are but a mere introduction into the complex, but highly rewarding, art of approaching women. This advice will serve as a valuable foundation to stand on once you become more familiar with the concept.

If you manage to keep an open mind and dedicate a reasonable amount of time to learning about the art form, then it’s safe to assume you, too, will be able conquer your fear of rejection and learn how to successfully apply the techniques taught in the Art of Approaching women.

By: Diante Duval

Diante Duval runs the Art of Approaching Women Review. He offers practical advice, easily implemented strategies, and advice crafted from experience. To find out more about overcoming fears of rejection, gaining unshakable confidence, and acquiring magnetizing swagger, visit www.artofapproachingwomenreview.com.

One night stands, they get to be more trouble than they’re worth. You spend several hours and silly money chatting someone up, only to have her back out at the final moment. You head to bed with a girl, then find that she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Or you’re just getting a little bit sick of spending every night on the prowl, and every day fending off your female colleagues’ criticisms.

So… is it time to settle down? Find a steady girlfriend and pop a ring on her excitable finger?

Good grief, no!

But it might be time to start thinking about the benefits of regular dating.

Seeing the same girl semi-regularly has all sorts of plus points. Conversation stops being stilted, nights out become more varied, and you know that you’re going to get frequent, high quality frolics in bed.

Seeing several girls semi-regularly can be even better. But only if you ensure that not one of the girls in question will raise objections.

Luckily for you, that’s easier than it sounds.

Loads of girls like to keep things casual in the early days. For some of them, it better suits their hectic lifestyle. For others, it’s self-protection or an attempt to impress. Whatever their reason, if you can find a girl who’s happy to play along initially, all you then have to do is… not change anything.

Seriously.

In the early of days of even the most long term, monogamous relationship, there are no discussions about painful past romances. There is nothing but the vaguest talk of future hopes and dreams. There are certainly no tearful unburdenings about whatever may be upsetting, angering or irritating either of you on a daily basis. So, as your dating progresses, keep the conversations simple. Stick to lightweight topics and keep your phone and email communication strictly functional – confirming or arranging dates, but not indulging in chit-chat.

Avoid getting into a dating routine. Don’t save Fridays for one girl, Saturdays for another. Mix things up a bit so that all encounters must be actively planned – never risk getting to the stage where she feels she doesn’t need to phone ahead.

Keep the romantic venues to a minimum. Candlelit dinners and cuddling are the start of something serious, so stick to funny films, noisy clubs and impersonal, popular restaurants.

And if talk of romance does creep in, deal with it immediately. If a girl starts dropping commitment hints, make sure that you drop her. There may be tears and she may try to bargain, but the sooner you tell her you don’t see a future together, the easier she’ll find it to accept.

Ignore all the well-meaning queries from your relatives – if you’re not into monogamy right now, there’s not much point in pretending. And unless you’ve found that one perfect woman they tell you is out there, why settle yourself down with anyone else?

Approach multiple dating honestly and ethically, and everyone can enjoy it. Always be upfront with the girls: you’re not looking for anything serious just now, but you’d love to enjoy their company. Accept that if you’re not committed to them, they’re not going to be faithful to you. And never overburden yourself – after all, this is supposed to fun, not fatiguing, so figure out how many dates you can realistically handle, and how many names you’ll be able to keep track of, and then go forth and enjoy!

By: Chick Magnet 101

Want to learn 50 WAYS for approaching, attracting and seducing women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson’s Free eBook which provides 50 tips for instant dating success.