Many of us know the catchy Paul Simon song from the 70’s titled “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” This Valentine’s Day we’re offering to you instead, 50 ways to LOVE your lover! Well, it’s more like 20 but we take this as a starting off point.

We encourage you and your partner to consider these suggestions for more than just February 14th. To keep the passion and connection between you alive and growing, pay attention to romance every day of the year. Unfortunately in the midst of our busy lives, romantic acts tend to get left behind. Many can remember those early days of the relationship when all was just a little more exciting and heart fluttery. We’re here to tell you that you can live those feelings again and again in the present day—no matter how long you and your mate have been together.

When we talk about “romance” we don’t just envision flowers and cards with sappy sayings. Those are great, but you and your love need to find out what makes your hearts sing. You can start off by thinking about how you really want to be loved. What expressions of love that you may have experienced in the past (or maybe you’ve yet to experience) have made you feel simply great? Allow some ideas to come together and then share that with your love. Next, sit back and listen to how he or she wants to be loved. You might just be surprised by what you discover.

Try to keep your mind open and stay positive. This isn’t about blaming or feeling guilty for what’s not happening right now. Keep your focus on those good feelings and ideas for how to create more romantic moments of passion in your life together. Once you have your lists started and you’ve shared them with one another, make those things happen! Be sure to check in with each other as you start creating romantic moments because your lists may change and grow.

So here are some starter ideas for 50 ways to love your lover….

*Dinner at his or her favorite restaurant. If your love likes surprises, make it a surprise. Pretend like you two are the only ones in the room and focus only on one another.

*Give each other a massage or foot rub. Take a workshop to learn how to give a good massage and then make it a regularly occurring event.

*While you are apart, send your love an e-mail or text message to express your feelings—this could be sensual, appreciative, or as corny as you like!

*Write your partner a song. You don’t even have to know how to play a musical instrument. Just write a song that comes from your heart—silly, sexy, or anything in between are great.

*Try something new that you’ve both been wanting to do but haven’t made the time for (or had the guts to do yet). Anyone for skydiving????

*Slow dance. Put on your favorite tunes and groove together.

*Are you and your love sports fans? Surprise him or her with tickets to a local game or create an arena or stadium feel in your living room and have a game night together.

*Try a new way to make love. There are many helpful resources if you’d like ideas.

*Take a hike in nature. Hold hands and really tune in to the wonders all around you.

*Leave love notes for your mate. One man we know posted 15 notes all over the house declaring different ways he loves his wife to celebrate their 15 year anniversary.

*Meditate or pray together. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, share those great feelings practicing your faith together.

*Give your mate flowers or sweets simply for no reason. Perhaps you come to expect these things on February 14th, but how much sweeter when they arrive on a non-holiday day.

*Surprise your love with a candlelit dinner at home. This doesn’t even have to be fancy. An inexpensive dish like spaghetti can be made to feel special with the right touches. Try candles and music.

*Take a sensual bath together. Bubbles optional…

*Dream together. Get 2 pads of paper if you like and write down the dreams you have individually and as a couple. There are NO limits so allow yourself to go wild and have fun sharing your dreams. They may just come true!

*Volunteer for a cause you both believe in. Maybe it’s canvassing for a favorite political candidate or helping with a beautification project by your local stream.

*Set up a scavenger hunt and make yourself the “treasure” at the end.

*Arrange for childcare, if necessary, and get away for a weekend or overnight. This could be a luxurious hotel room or a rustic cabin in the woods. What do you like?

*Go to a concert together. Perhaps your favorite rock band is in town or you could attend a free symphony in the park.

*Your presence. (We didn’t say presents!) Being fully present and attentive to whatever your partner is sharing with you is a way to connect more deeply.

As you can see from our starter list of 50 ways to love your lover, there’s a lot of room for variety when it comes to romance. Passion can spring from seemingly simple or non-romantic acts. It all depends on what makes you feel alive and in love. In fact, there are a lot more than just 50 ways to love your lover. How many ways can you come up with and try?

By: Susie & Otto Collins

Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their free mini-course at Red Hot Love Relationships.com