You can’t put too much blame on a man who took what was willingly given to him. Yes, he too, is untrustworthy and has limited morals for interfering in the relationship of others but that is what she will learn on her own and what do you really know was told to him, in order for him to continue the pursuit? She might have told him that the relationship had already ended and she was only living with you until she found another place. He may not be aware that you are still having sex and expressing love toward each other. He may believe he was rescuing a damsel in distress, from you. You will never know what he was told but, in any case, the reasons each have for being the way they are, will likely find their relationship failing as each discovers the truth about the other.

Anger is best handled by thinking rationally. I know this may be difficult to do, with the feelings you are having at the moment, but you will be able to think things through if you try. Ask yourself if the actions you are contemplating will do anything to better your position or make you a better person. The Anger Stage is also the best time to ask yourself if you really want this woman back in your life.

This is the time to remember why you are angry. You are angry because you feel you have more to offer than who she is with. You gave her love, possessions, and honesty. You cared for her through illness, or financial distress, or emotional turmoil during your time together. You had an intimacy with her that you thought no other couple could possibly have. She forgot the constant support you gave and discarded it all as she thought only of herself. Sure, you’re angry, but is this woman worth being angry about? Ask yourself if this is a woman you really want back in your life - for the rest of your life.

Remember, “Once a cheat, always a cheat” is not just a saying, but a fact. Few people, men or women, only cheat once. The first time may be the hardest for them but, once done, it only becomes easier to do and fewer mistakes are made that expose their indiscretions. Taking age into consideration, an older woman who cheated has likely cheated on a previous man. This confirmation may only come from others now that you are out of the relationship, as no one will divulge that knowledge to you while you were together. A leopard can’t change its spots. Even if you are the most forgiving man that ever lived you will never forget. That trust you had in her is now gone and you will never get it back. You would spend the rest of your life being suspicious of her tardiness home or when she speaks to other men. It is never the same, the second time around.

You have to realize that you are the better person and believe it. Know that she is any combination of selfish, insecure, immature, disloyal, and worst of all, unfaithful. Also, take solace in the fact that men and women, who united as a result of cheating on someone else, are doomed to fail more than 50 percent of the time within one year. This percentage increases to almost 95 percent over a period of three years. One or both of them will cheat again on each other or the excitement of the forbidden love affair quickly wanes. They presented themselves to each other as something they weren’t or failed to disclose their shortcomings that are only discovered during normal, unrestricted dating. The object of their quest may seem desirable in the brief time they arranged together but they are unknowing of all that comes with the “victory.” They soon realize that the obtained person is not perfect and the reality of the problems they acquired by having them on a full-time basis, rather than just short interludes of sex, is more than they wanted or anticipated.

By: Matthew Dees

Mr.Dees, author of The Aphrodite Apocalypse, continues writing in his retirement. Mr. Dees currently enjoys writing on subjects that he finds of interest, including nostalgia items, western antiques, and the Civil War.